To describe myself in two fictional TV characters I am Chandler Bing and Josh Lyman. I’m the awkward sometimes comic (relief) with occasional strokes of genius but mostly strives to be a third fictional character: Rory Gilmore. However, my procrastination and housekeeping skills make me more like Lorelai Gilmore instead. (Not complaining, but I do sniff books).
I was never the brightest or most engaged at school. I was the day-dreamer, the creative type never more sparked than when doing something crafty with paper, writing never-ending stories, or learning classics (partially started from my love of TV Hercules). I dreamt of attending Hogwarts when I should have been studying for my standard grades, I got up early and won a competition to meet Linkin Park when I should have revised more for my computing exam that morning.
Eventually, after many years of studying various vocations, I made it into University but still comfort-binge-watched The West Wing and Gilmore Girls on repeat
too many times. Like Chandler, not many people know exactly what I’ve done or could tell you what I do/have been doing (apparently I do too many things); and like Josh I’m good at my own things, my own interests and specialist fields but at school I really had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to reach my own level. It’s too easy to lament on this with ‘should have tried harder’, ‘should have been better’, ‘why did others get x?’ but it’s not healthy to compare oneself with other people. We’ve all had different upbringings and pasts, and some people are just naturally academic. Me, I like that I have a million interests. I do need to focus on adequate scheduling more though.
Now uni is over, we’ve all been set loose and free. Except, Brexit is happening, I’ve gone off the language I studied, I’m years older than my former classmates, many pounds heavier (and poorer), Jed Bartlett isn’t running for president and I’m not seeing waves of job opportunities now that I’m home.
So what now? Well, it’s 2017 might as well blog and perhaps find others in the same position.
Call me Lyman Bing now. The point is I’m not being self-deprecating I’m being realistic. I don’t want to do finance training and feel like a sell-out (to myself, not dissing those who do/like finance) or feel my soul seeping from my ribs in a mind-numbing job. I’m living at home because I can’t afford to live alone and because my mum is nice enough to take me back (♥), I can’t afford to have children nor get married (not that I would, that’s for a whole other post), and I’ll probably never buy a house… but it doesn’t matter, times are changing and I’m riding the waves as they come.