Posted in Education, Languages, Musings, Relationships, University

The Frustrations of Life

I like my life.

None of us has a life manual to tell us what to do, when to do it, or if we are doing it right. I follow my gut instinct though it’s taken me years to actually trust it and believe it knows best, but it can be difficult when you see what everyone else is doing, or worse, when other people tell you you’re not living your life right. How even?!

I’ve spent the last five years at uni where I was a good 6 years older than my fellow students, for the most part it wasn’t an issue, but of course there was some lighthearted ribbing, and some less than lighthearted ribbing. It was my choice not to go straight to uni after school, mostly because I felt mentally broken and scraped my way out of it. I instead went to a Further Education college to study Italian for a couple of years, then I studied Photography at another college, then there was a half year back at the original college to do more languages, then onto a third college to do a HNC as I was beginning to feel that uni was within my reach.

Does it matter how long it took me to get to uni? No. Does it matter how many years I spent doing other stuff? No, because I actually did other stuff. Does it matter that I’ll be 29 in a month and I haven’t been married off? HELL no!

It’s fine for other people, I know loads of people from school and college who’ve dated for years, got married, and had kids (in various orders) and that’s great for them who’ve chosen that life… But I really don’t believe it’s for me. I’ve dated, not recently, but I can’t be bothered with the drama right now. I’m only just back home in Glasgow and I’ve been in Waterstones so many times and yet no one has approached me from behind the shelves to ask to buy me a book!

I know it sounds like I’m trying to justify my life and choices, but sometimes I feel swamped by subliminal pressures because I’m not doing things the way everyone else is, but why would we want to do it like everyone else is?

Right now, I’m binge-watching Suits (Don’t trust the pineapple), I’ll do some more crocheting after, maybe a little Sims, then back to work for my course… and I may just add a sprinkling of Dutch in.

I like my life, I like my own time!

e x

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Posted in Education, elearning, Food, Japanese, Languages, Musings

Of all the gin joints…

Today was horrendously wet. No surprise to anyone who lives in Scotland but I think this is a sign that Summer and Frappuccino season is over.

I got up fairly early this morning and definitely slept better than the previous night (no more talking about work in my sleep), so I was more focused with what I wanted to do. Let’s just acknowledge now that my plans never always go exactly the way I want them to. I started with some more Gilmore Girls then studied a unit of Italian on edX (a great course if you are interested) though I’m doing the Advanced class as a recap before I start on the A.P. Italian program they’ve launched. It’s no end of amazement to myself at how quickly I am able to slip back into Italian… and have it make so much more sense than Spanish. But the years speak for themselves, 11 vs 5 🙂

After that I got ready and packed for the gym but also with a plan to hit a few shops in town for various things I have no time to pick up because of working at prime hours. And a stop to Starbucks to chill for a bit and read my book.

I also read on the bus. Didn’t notice a certain person getting on said bus, was hardly halfway through my journey. I’m not going to go into it much but let’s just say #awkward plus I didn’t get to read my book the rest of the journey 😦

Despite that, I got into town otherwise unscathed and managed to get the things I was looking for, necessities are expensive these days, aren’t they?! Ended up treating myself to Ichiban because I was suddenly starving and needed the carbs.

chickenyakisoba
Delicious Chicken Yakisoba!

The meal helped a lot and it’s quite inexpensive, even at the weekend. Next stop was Starbucks for what is probably my last Frappuccino until next summer – too damn cold to be drinking ice! Back to Caramel/Cinnamon Soya Steamers. My own creation way back when I was a barista.

The gym was fun, I managed a standard 15 minutes on the rowing machine that passed quite quickly and not as painful as before… I guess this means I’m getting fitter? I’m still taking everything slowly though, up to 15 minutes of various machines so I don’t snap, crack, or damage anything again. A couple of years back I had awful pain below my shins in the tendons that no one could explain, they were red and burning from the moment I woke up as well! Turns out my beloved zombie boots were too wide around the foot and the tendons were trying to hold my feet in place. Ick! Few months after that I ended up with Achilles Tendinopathy which I still haven’t managed to rid myself from, but I do enjoy the classical allusion. Then, of course back in April, I blacked out on my way home from work one night and landed full force on both my knees. They were black and blue (and agony) for months and are actually still quite tender on the knee caps.

I’m a walking disaster!

Weekend is over, time for bed! Work tomorrow…

e x

Gilmore again…

Very lazy Saturday, studying Italian and rewatching Gilmore Girls again for the millionth time…. Still skipping all the California parts in the “Here comes the son” episode.

Also, how did they take a train from London to Ireland?

Posted in Education, Languages, Musings, TV, University

I am Bing, hear me roar!

To describe myself in two fictional TV characters I am Chandler Bing and Josh Lyman. I’m the awkward sometimes comic (relief) with occasional strokes of genius but mostly strives to be a third fictional character: Rory Gilmore. However, my procrastination and housekeeping skills make me more like Lorelai Gilmore instead. (Not complaining, but I do sniff books).

I was never the brightest or most engaged at school. I was the day-dreamer, the creative type never more sparked than when doing something crafty with paper, writing never-ending stories, or learning classics (partially started from my love of TV Hercules). I dreamt of attending Hogwarts when I should have been studying for my standard grades, I got up early and won a competition to meet Linkin Park when I should have revised more for my computing exam that morning.

Eventually, after many years of studying various vocations, I made it into University but still comfort-binge-watched The West Wing and Gilmore Girls on repeat too many times. Like Chandler, not many people know exactly what I’ve done or could tell you what I do/have been doing (apparently I do too many things); and like Josh I’m good at my own things, my own interests and specialist fields but at school I really had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to reach my own level. It’s too easy to lament on this with ‘should have tried harder’, ‘should have been better’, ‘why did others get x?’ but it’s not healthy to compare oneself with other people. We’ve all had different upbringings and pasts, and some people are just naturally academic. Me, I like that I have a million interests. I do need to focus on adequate scheduling more though.

Now uni is over, we’ve all been set loose and free. Except, Brexit is happening, I’ve gone off the language I studied, I’m years older than my former classmates, many pounds heavier (and poorer), Jed Bartlett isn’t running for president and I’m not seeing waves of job opportunities now that I’m home.

So what now? Well, it’s 2017 might as well blog and perhaps find others in the same position.

Call me Lyman Bing now. The point is I’m not being self-deprecating I’m being realistic. I don’t want to do finance training and feel like a sell-out (to myself, not dissing those who do/like finance) or feel my soul seeping from my ribs in a mind-numbing job. I’m living at home because I can’t afford to live alone and because my mum is nice enough to take me back (♥), I can’t afford to have children nor get married (not that I would, that’s for a whole other post), and I’ll probably never buy a house… but it doesn’t matter, times are changing and I’m riding the waves as they come.

e x