Posted in Health, life, Musings

Hiatus

So I went quiet for a while…

Things got a bit dark; dragons and ineffective coffee – I even stopped playing the Sims.

I couldn’t post on social media (not properly), everything I thought seemed to bland and uninteresting to tell anyone about.

Like I said, darkness and dragons.

But, I’ve slowly regained my spark, crocheting and audiobooks of all things helped serve as a distraction. Mass job applications drained me psychically so I binged on Bones and Lucifer for inspiration. I plotted gifts I could crochet for everyone’s birthdays this year since up until two weeks ago I was very, very broke. (Still skint but not very.)

Now I’m fairly settled into a new job, that while I’m still learning and it’s still new, it’s not as overwhelmingly terrifying as the beginnings of a new job usually is. Mostly because everyone wants to help and wants us all to succeed. Despite the ridiculously early mornings and long days, I’m coping well and not so mentally drained as with other jobs. Trying to be productive on the weekends is something I’m still wrestling with but I’m getting there.

I’ve a couple of days off just now to work on my next assessment, due on Thursday, but after some weeks of avoiding it, I have a pretty good grasp on what needs to be done and have lots of notes and drafts. I do need to start thinking of the bigger picture, i.e. the dissertation which will start to sook up all my free time and thoughts.

I’ve been to events and gone to new restaurants in the last months, so I definitely have plenty to blog about… just sitting down to do it is always the hardest part. However, see the picture above – that’s my new dedicated outdoor writing space in the garden. The weather has turned nice again so I want to make the most of it while I can. I need to write and study but there’s nothing wrong with being out soaking up some vitamins while I’m doing it.

Anyway, it’s past my bedtime but I’ll start writing more posts tomorrow to schedule. I promise not to abandon the blogosphere for so long again!

e x

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Posted in Blogging Challenge, Education, Musings, University

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 25

Your Biggest Regret

While it’s not good to have regrets about things we can’t change… what I do regret is all the times in my life where I took the passive route instead of being more actively involved in my own life.

Times where I left early to go home and nap (I do love to nap btw), or missed out on opportunities because I couldn’t be bothered or didn’t feel like it. How often do we have to do things we don’t feel like doing because we must? Therefore when there’s the chance to do something fun but we’re not quite feeling up to it, then surely the right answer is just to do it anyway.

A lot of my regrets are linked to choices I made or didn’t make related to school, college, and uni. I wish at school I could have been more involved and invested in what school represented instead of being distracted by stupid arguments and dramas I can’t even remember anymore. If only I hadn’t taken the easy route, I could have gained a load of highers in fifth year instead of running out on the classes I did well on simply because I couldn’t face another year with said teachers. This is how I ended up being a fifth year with a free period (because I dropped music class), left Int 2 Maths instead of trying to work at it, and taking Int 2 ART in sixth year. What the hell! I wish I hadn’t drifted so much, school wasn’t a means to an end, it was just clocking time until my real life began. (It hasn’t really, yet.)

College the first year was great, I picked a bunch of subjects I was really excited about but then even though I had more free time than I did at school (but with an hour’s travel each way) I still looked to skin more time for myself, which meant leaving at lunchtime instead of spending time with friends – this could have solidified relationships more, gave me more time to study, made me feel less guilty about not studying at home. By the second year, I chose to resit classes I did in high school simply because it meant I’d already completed the course assessments and effectively would have more time to study for the final exam. That’s how I failed higher geography twice, upgraded my higher French and Biology from Cs to Bs… not that anyone bothered telling me they wouldn’t count. Not that anyone ever bothered informing me that four years of highers did nothing for me but kill time and make me realise I never wanted to study Psychology again. Le sigh.

In terms of Uni, I’m still in a love/hate relationship with Spanish. I really wanted to study Italian and preferably in Glasgow… yet every uni in Scotland that offered Italian to degree level all flipped me off and that’s how I ended up doing Spanish at Aberdeen. My consolation to myself was that at least Spanish was a language, it was related to Italian and it was better than doing a degree in something I had little interest in. And again, we come back to the same problems I did at college and school. I buried my head when things got tough and I coasted instead of facing and owning up to the challenges I experienced. I was taking 25 hours of classes a week, working 25 hours a week, travelling to-and-from work for around 12 hours a week and living in student accommodation where I was only allowed to sleep for about 4 or fewer hours a night. Thanks to all this effort just to make ends meet and maintain my place at uni, there wasn’t a lot of time to study… not that I usually had the energy left to study… it was difficult to keep up my great grades and I passed well enough, but it only made subsequent years harder as Spanish got harder and the dreaded year abroad loomed closer.

When I started second year, I had my adviser meeting on the first day of freshers where my tutor (who was also my Spanish teacher) asked me if I was still happy doing Spanish. I said yes without hesitating, and honestly that moment has haunted me ever since…

Posted in Blogging Challenge, Musings, Travel

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day #23

If You Won The Lottery…

It’s funny because this question always reminds me of language classes when trying to learn how to use the subjunctive/if-clauses/imperfect subjunctive. Usually the responses were fairly run-of-the-mill because everyone was too freaked out with trying to understand the subjunctive.

In reality, my response is boring… I’d buy a house, a detached house, and preferably it would be several hundred meters away from my neighbours. Beyond that, I’d use the rest for travelling comfortably and staying in holiday apartments or quirky hotels.

Posted in Blogging Challenge, Musings, Writing

30 Blogging Challenge – Day #2

Day 2 – 20 facts about you

  1. I’m proudly Scottish and European. I love my country and showing it off to visitors.
  2. I’m a language addict. English is my native language, Italian is my best second language. I can cope in Spanish (reading’s fine, and mostly listening – it’s the speaking I have trouble with) and I can get by in French. I’m constantly trying to self-teach Dutch and Greek. I’ve also studied Latin and Swedish.
  3. I’m afraid of death, electricity, and bananas.
  4. Zombies. Can’t wait.
  5. I’m a Bruce Campbell uber-fan. Hercules, Xena, Evil Dead, Burn Notice… don’t get me started!
  6. I love Batman, but I’m a Nolan purist. Nothing can beat Christian Bale as the Dark Knight. I have no time for Fatfleck.
  7. Sharks, bumblebees, dogs (especially Pitties) are my favourite animals (fight me!) And llamas/alpacas… pigs and goats. Love them all. Except cats, jellyfish, starfish, most marine species.
  8. Apparently I don’t look my age. My age causes shock.
  9. I’m left-handed.
  10. My hair is naturally “dirty-fair” so is neither blonde nor brown enough to look nice and is a weird flat grey colour. I’ve been dying my hair since I was 13.
  11. I haven’t learned to drive… yet.
  12. I waste hours looking at Studyblrs and studyspo on tumblr… when I have my own studying to be doing.
  13. I have an MA in Hispanic Studies, a post-graduate Certificate in Humanities, I’m in my second year of an MA in Creative Writing, and I’m starting a C.Ed in Italian.
  14. I’m a writer – but a lazy one. Trying to hold myself to my own deadlines gets more fruitless as the years go on. So I’m studying CW to have something else hold me accountable.
  15. Pretty much everything I know about American Culture comes from TV and books: Sesame Street, Gilmore Girls, the West Wing… And the OC and Sweet Valley. I cried when I went to high school and we didn’t have lockers.
  16. We went camping a lot when I was a kid. I used to have an obsession with the outdoor water taps. Still do.
  17. I’ve met famous people. Austin St. John who played Jason in the original Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. I was taken onstage with the Singing Kettle and performed in the opening song for the show. I won backstage passes to meet Linkin Park. I shook hands with Willie Nelson and his sister after their show. I briefly met Sandi Thom when she was punting her album in Borders, Jodi Picoult when she was punting her book in Borders, Dave Gorman but he was punting his book in Waterstones and there was a heckler. I met Story of The Year after their show. Kitty and Steve from Mindless Self Indulgence. Bullet for my Valentine. Nice Peter from Epic Rap Battles of History. Maggie Stiefvater when she did a talk in the Mitchell then stayed to sign everyone’s books! Oh, and Jared Leto and the guys from 30 Seconds to Mars… not a great story.
  18. I love to Crochet, it helps to relax me.
  19. I’m a Classical History nerd. I wrote my dissertation on the Roman Conquest of Hispania. I’m dying to visit Carthage in Tunisia and Cartagena in Spain!
  20. My diet is Veganish. I haven’t eaten dairy for a while now and every few months my body decides to reject another food type so I’m on a stripped back diet. I identify as Veganish because sometimes it’s too hard to explain what no-dairy means to people who aren’t sure what dairy even is. Thus, the vegan option is the safe option. I still eat beef and turkey and some fish but not constantly as I love quick easy meals without worrying about meat going off.

You survived it! Gold star for you!

e x

Posted in Musings

Freezing

So it’s almost the end of August but Scotland hasn’t realised that it’s technically still summer… Back to the ice age for us, sadly.

I’m sitting here trying to do work and read but keep getting distracted by recipes and studyspo on Pinterest. Alas, there’s always tomorrow.

Did I mention I’m cold? I’m wearing my Harry Potter pj set (jumper and long trousers) and my little bear slippers because it’s so damn cold. It’s probably a sign to turn in for the night. I’m hoping tomorrow will be a bit more productive – the most I did today was get coffee and my eyebrows done. Small self-care steps matter. Booked a hair appointment for next week on my day off because it needs cut and my hairdresser is moving 😩.

I’m impatient and excited for September, so much good new stuff will start!

e x

Posted in Education, Musings, rant, work, Writing

Blogoversary!

So it’s around a year since evallone.com happened and I’m thrilled with how my little site has developed in that time. Initially pre-domain name it did start as a blog of a recent graduate trying to find decent work in this pre-apocalyptic world, then evolved, backtracked and evolved some more!

Tomorrow marks a year since I got that fresh out of uni job which lasted all of 10 weeks. I am not ashamed to admit it as I’m much happier in my current job of seven and a half months! I never spoke in great detail on here about what happened in the last job, but since I’ve hardly heard from anyone since I left, there’s little problem if I were to speak about it, but that’s for another time.

The current purpose of my blog is to give me a platform to display all my creative tendencies and to rant. I’ve much in the pipeline, but have been fighting with time to get on with actually writing blog posts. I did go on holiday to York a few weeks ago but I’ve had a hell of a time trying to edit and upload the pictures (I shot them all in RAW and it’s been a while…) Alas, they’re coming soon along with the written-at-the-time blog posts. Check out my photography page as I’ll be posting plenty of additional pictures there.

I spent much of yesterday desperately clinging onto reality after a rare night out on Saturday. I’ve questioned my mortality, my age, the unstoppable passing of time, why I peaked at age 3, and my appearance. So today I got up, my food tasted better than in months, I slept better than I have in quite some time (with lots of wild dreams) and have a plan for today and the next wee while. My course starts back in October so that gives me several weeks to work my way through the reading list (as best as I can, cannot afford many of the books) and trying to really embrace the opportunity this course and year will give me. I know all too well from this past year just how fast time goes, so I need to try and enjoy every single minute of it.

I’m rambling now, I know, but I’m abuzz with ideas and the need to just read for a solid amount of time. I just needed this to break the ice a bit, and I promise I should be back to regular updates from now on.

Thanks for this last year of support!

e x