Posted in Education, Languages, Musings, Relationships, University

The Frustrations of Life

I like my life.

None of us has a life manual to tell us what to do, when to do it, or if we are doing it right. I follow my gut instinct though it’s taken me years to actually trust it and believe it knows best, but it can be difficult when you see what everyone else is doing, or worse, when other people tell you you’re not living your life right. How even?!

I’ve spent the last five years at uni where I was a good 6 years older than my fellow students, for the most part it wasn’t an issue, but of course there was some lighthearted ribbing, and some less than lighthearted ribbing. It was my choice not to go straight to uni after school, mostly because I felt mentally broken and scraped my way out of it. I instead went to a Further Education college to study Italian for a couple of years, then I studied Photography at another college, then there was a half year back at the original college to do more languages, then onto a third college to do a HNC as I was beginning to feel that uni was within my reach.

Does it matter how long it took me to get to uni? No. Does it matter how many years I spent doing other stuff? No, because I actually did other stuff. Does it matter that I’ll be 29 in a month and I haven’t been married off? HELL no!

It’s fine for other people, I know loads of people from school and college who’ve dated for years, got married, and had kids (in various orders) and that’s great for them who’ve chosen that life… But I really don’t believe it’s for me. I’ve dated, not recently, but I can’t be bothered with the drama right now. I’m only just back home in Glasgow and I’ve been in Waterstones so many times and yet no one has approached me from behind the shelves to ask to buy me a book!

I know it sounds like I’m trying to justify my life and choices, but sometimes I feel swamped by subliminal pressures because I’m not doing things the way everyone else is, but why would we want to do it like everyone else is?

Right now, I’m binge-watching Suits (Don’t trust the pineapple), I’ll do some more crocheting after, maybe a little Sims, then back to work for my course… and I may just add a sprinkling of Dutch in.

I like my life, I like my own time!

e x

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Posted in Books, Food, Japanese, Musings, Outings, Relationships, Stephanie Plum

A lot changes in six years

Allergies have been kicking my ass lately even if I stay at home, so I decided to go out for a bit and have a meander around G-town Glasgow. Hay-fever on the bus is not pleasant thus I didn’t get to read as much of my book as I wanted to. I take my kindle with me for bus journeys despite having a massive backlog of actual books to read, but I’ve been plugging through book 12 of the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. They’re entertaining and easy to read without being pulp.

I wasn’t really up to hanging around in town as I’d brought my old netbook with me and needed access to a plug for a while without being rushed away, I also wanted ramen. Ichiban it was!

I was minutes off the bus and dreaming of sushi when I noticed someone sidling up to me from the corner of my eye… twas an old ex who I haven’t seen in about six years. It was a very strange experience and a definite shock as he was quite pleasant, gave me a hug, asked how I am… then mentioned that I’ve put on some weight (I thanked him sarcastically). He was unsure if I’d remember him, but I generally remember most people, it was surreal that he was so bubbly. Maybe people can mellow, if not grow up at some point. It was fairly brief anyway and we said goodbye without any mention of getting back in touch, I prefer to leave closed doors closed.

One thing that did stick with me was that he said he thought I would have moved to Italy by now. I suppose six years ago that was the absolute dream, but things do change. I’ve had university and the experience of living in Spain has given me perspective (move to a big city, not a tiny town), but doing Erasmus at a Uni is different from working to support yourself without the Erasmus bursary or SAAS money. I might not be living in Italy yet, but it is still a possibility/probability at some point, I just have to appreciate how much I’ve grown in six years. If nothing else, I’m far pickier about who I’d date and I haven’t for a long time. Apparently it annoys other people though, according to them I should be married now. Hah! Have you seen my to-be-read pile? Haven’t time for that!

e x