I’m still alive, just been working hard and a lot at many different things. I promise new posts coming soon!
I’ve been under no illusions the last few weeks. Life is being a bitch. I’ve had too much time on my hands without a job and the panic has set in many times. The unemployment rate is ridiculously high in Glasgow… apparently nothing’s changed in the last five years, even despite the massive increase in my work experience and my degree; it has done little to improve my circumstances.
Don’t ask what happened to the other job. All I’ll say is it was making me ill and it’s not the direction I wanted to be going in. Though I’m struggling, I don’t regret leaving… I’m just wondering if being in Glasgow is really the right place for me now.
When I don’t need to get up, I really struggle to get up at a reasonable time. I am the master of the 12-hour sleep and also often suddenly find myself still up faffing around at 2am… you get the picture. Anyway, today I finally got my shit together and left the house after 2pm wanting to go to the Mitchell Library. It’s only open until 5pm on a Friday but I could still make it for a few hours.
I was barely on the bus and in the middle of reading Lauren Graham’s Talking as Fast as I Can book when I heard others on the bus cry out a resounding “OHH!” I looked up and saw a wee man at the bus stop just collapsed onto the ground and wasn’t moving. Everyone on the bus froze in shock and a few people quickly jumped off and started fussing. Still no one knew what to actually do. I felt like an idiot. I just watched from the bus window, concerned but helpless. A guy appeared from nowhere and I wasn’t sure if he was just trying to get into the bus stop and was unaware of what was going on, but he got down on his hands and knees and pulled the guy onto his back and started doing chest compresions. Another woman soon took over this and the guy started giving mouth to mouth. Someone else called an ambulance and we all watched on as the old man still lay unmoving.
Eventually the bus driver was wanting to move on, some people stayed with the man and let the bus go. We all felt bad. A few stops later we saw the Paramedic ambulance racing in the opposite direction and a bit after that the real ambulance also rushed by. Gives me the shivers but isn’t the first time I’ve been in a situation like this. I really need to get First Aid certified.
It hasn’t tainted my day in so much as it has just brought a mortal edge to my issues. I’m struggling to find work, but so are lots of people. The world isn’t what it used to be… but also the world isn’t what it used to be. I am young, free, and single. The most fortunate woman in my long family line where I have had the help and support to be educated, to be free to work (even if I can’t find it), I live in a technological age where I can earn bits of money online, and I don’t need to marry, nor have children. I am not infallable, but I’m not defeated either. Something good will come eventually, it’s important to keep looking and being involved in life. In the meantime I’ll keep writing and finding joy where I can.
Just keep swimming!
This week was our first week unleashed from training to actually crack on with the job. Oh my, what a week it was! No one was kidding when they mentioned a steep learning curve, and yet I survived.
Just wish I didn’t keep waking myself up talking about it or dreaming about it on the weekend!
If there’s one thing I’ve never been great at it’s balance. Not just in the literal sense of standing on one foot but in terms of what I’m doing in my life, e.g. work or uni, and what I’m juggling with secondary interests and socialising/relaxing.
Especially within the last few weeks this has become my aim to work on achieving a better balance despite working full-time and travelling around ten hours a week to-and-fro. One of my most important challenges has been to prepare enough new and original content for this blog, and as an exercise in discipline to flex my writing muscles even when I’ve little time or inspiration.
Very soon I’ll be starting my new Masters degree, which I’m really excited about but also slightly anxious about being prepared and inspired even if I’m drained from work. I know what I’m getting back into having just finished full-time uni; deadlines, stressing over grades, never feeling I’ve done enough, etc, but I’m planning to plan better and work on my biggest hurdle: TIME MANAGEMENT! This has never been my friend, ever, but I know now more than ever that I need to work on it so I have time to review, revise, and edit drafts efficiently, prior to submitting, so that I can be certain I’ve handed in my best work.
I’m pretty certain I’ll naturally be more inspired to submit creative writing pieces rather than essays. No matter how much I love to write, I’ve never quite gotten the essay writing process down! All lecturers wanted a different style, format, or I really struggled to grasp what they actually wanted me to submit. I did always try to find a hook or an angle to trick myself into being interested in essay topics (apart from classics courses, no tricks were ever needed), but my resounding feeling during honours years was that nothing I wrote was ever good enough.
This course will be different. I’ve been writing since I was 2. Yes, two! Since I could hold a pen I would scribble on paper or forms, (the wall occasionally) and feel exactly the same as Scout Finch, that writing is as natural as breathing. It’s no more spectacular than the respiratory system but is as absolutely critical to life as air.
In the evenings I don’t really have much chill time but I’m starting to get used to my routine and have been able to better utilise what time I do have. I’ve signed up to a few MOOC’s on Coursera, Edx, and OpenLearn which are all free to study and follow but with the option to pay a small fee for an official certificate/qualification. I’ll post soon about the courses I’m doing with some early thoughts and feedback.
There’s also my massive TBR pile, which I’ll get to at some point and review my recent reads.
As a final thought for tonight, I know it is important to take one day at a time, but it is also just as important to make plans and time for the things you really want to do during your free time, so you don’t end up sitting dejected on a Sunday night remembering all the things you wanted to do! (Too many times!)
My schedule changes by an hour next week for a few weeks but I’m going to create a full rotating schedule of activities to slot in around work…
… just keep swimming!
P.S. I’ve added a new Photography page, which I’m planning on adding much more to soon, have a looksie!