Posted in Writing

Dissertation Update #3

The typing process is improving. Still making mistakes but quickly fixing them.

Listening to chill out jazz and bossa nova on youtube instead of movie soundtracks. It’s nice and generic and does make me feel like I’m working in a coffee shop.

Reading Pet Sematary during breaks. The scary is rapidly approaching.

Forgot to use Forest for the last hour and a half.

Scrolling through Tumblr too for studyspo. I don’t get bubble tea. What does it do? What are the bubbles? Do you eat them/drink them/accidentally inhale them? It’s been around for a while so not as faddy anymore. Maybe I’ll get one when I finally leave the house again.

Craving the vegan French toast from Rose and Grants. Not sure if I’m emotionally prepared for the seitan bacon. I do love seitan though.

Been listening to so much Top 40 and American pop music lately. Odd but the catchy stuff keeps my mood up.

Chapter splits are now underway. Back to handwriting chunks as I edit old drafts. Already concerned I’ll have too many words and too short a word count. It’s gonna be hard to word slash.

e x

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Posted in Writing

Dissertation Update #2

Getting more into the zone but also getting very sleepy.

Harry Potter soundtrack songs keep playing and I want to watch them all again.

My chair is uncomfortable. I can’t type on my own keyboard, too used to the germy keyboards in work.

Debating having an early night for a change and starting fresh tomorrow.

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Dissertation Update #1

This could get tedious…

I’ve been working and procrastinating badly. I’m not happy with how word looks, I need to find a nice studyblr picture on tumblr, the movie soundtrack I’m listening to makes me want to watch the film. Rattlesnake, hockypuck, monkey monkey underpants!

So, prepare yourself for random updates. I’m in the typing-up phase. Not yet at the point of using write or die as my attention span really is nothing at the moment. I downloaded the Pro version of forest for whatever good that’ll do over the unpaid I don’t know but it seems like I’m being productive.

Wish me luck!

2584/15000

e x

Posted in Health, life, Writing

Just Keep Swimming

I’m still not better. Last night I slept for ten hours, got up and went for a blood test, struggled to eat a single bagel then two hours after getting up I fell back asleep for four and a half hours! Plus I was shivering – even under two heavy quilts and three blankets. Gah!

I’m worried that the days are melting together. I’m caught between the, ‘I need to rest’ and ‘I need to write my fucking dissertation‘ emotions. In case you haven’t heard, I’m writing 15000 words of a novel that I’ve been working on ahem well, started it when I was 15 and currently trying to write the best draft of it yet. But I’m doubting myself and had been all summer and now I’m ill and rapidly running out of time.

I am well aware that I’m not getting a distinction nor a merit for this degree, nothing I’ve submitted over the last two years came close to getting a thumbs up from my tutor. Even the stuff I worked ridiculously hard on still got worse marks than the stuff I ran out of time for. I get it, like any creative medium it’s subjective, the same happened when I took Photography and heck, even my HNC in Professional Writing. At least my work was always remembered for being weird. I’m good with that.

Anyway, the pain in my glands and ears and throat still feels like someone tried to shred my neck so I’ve been very quiet the last few days especially. Eating has been a chore and coffee hasn’t been very present (very odd for me). I’m trying. I know potentially I could get in touch with my tutor or student support and ask about extending the deadline due to extremely bad circumstances but honestly, I don’t want to postpone, defer, or delay this degree any longer – I just want it over with so I can go back to enjoying writing for myself again!

The novel is polyphonic where each chapter is in the 1st person POV of the main character of that scene. I have several main characters but two absolute main characters and all the chapters follow in a cycle. The chapter I’m working on just now is a journey with one of the absolute MCs and I’ve been writing it in a notebook gifted to me by a good friend for my birthday last year. I wanted to go back to handwriting things because as quick as writing on a computer can be, it’s often not as fulfilling as handwriting where you can see the strokes and scribbles of your own hand building something in front of your eyes. Plus, cute notebooks and pens. Alas, the chapter is getting quite long but will be split into several chapters to be spread between the happenings of the other characters. As much as I want to continue writing by hand, I’ve three weeks to the day to get it all done… plus I’ll be returning to work next week and won’t have nearly as much time to ponder. Though hopefully I will be on the road to recovery… eventually.

e x

Posted in Health, rant

Persistent

I had so many plans, and yet…

The tonsillitis refused to clear properly, I returned to work after my sick-line and finished my antibiotics. It was too much, I wasn’t ready. Then I was off again. Then back again, and just as I started to think I knew what I was doing the confusion returned, the agonising migraine-like headaches returned and my glands have swollen so much I now have a triple chin. Couldn’t get through to the docs for ages, next weekday off I still couldn’t get to see anyone but got another phone consult and told they need to take blood as it’s probably Glandular Fever (mono). But of course I can’t get bloods taken for another week because of so few appointments.

The doc told me I’d be ill for the next six months and there’s nothing they can do for me, even when they confirm it as GF. Because it’s viral. This is going to be a fun bumpy month while I discover just how supportive or not my work is and whether I can muster enough creative energy during my malaise to finish my dissertation to a decent enough standard after working so hard for the last two years.

I’ve been keeping myself entertained with audiobooks and crochet for as long as my ears can stand the noise. Even the lack of noise is painful so then I just try to sleep. I’m very frustrated with being ill. I am very hard on myself when I feel I should be able to leap tall buildings yet get vertigo by standing up.

This too shall pass, I suppose.

I’ll start posting some pictures of my crochet when I remember to.

e x

Posted in Health, life, rant, Writing

Figurative Ledges

So the summer is drawing to a close and there’s not been much to speak of weather-wise. I’ve been working, studying, and beating myself up about all the other things I don’t have time or energy to do – including blogging.

I’m currently still in the process of recovering from the worst bout of Tonsilitis I’ve ever had. It’s been bad before but it’s the first time the doctor has given me a massive dose of antibiotics – although I went on the Friday and she stated I’d be fine for work on the Monday. Riiight. So here I am, a week later and still not back at work yet. My throat no longer looks like an alien laid eggs around my raw tonsils but everything else is still funky. My right ear, (a.k.a the bad one) has taken to gurgling every time I hear sound, my glands pulse every time I move, and my eyes are making my brain swim when I stare at the computer screen, but I’m in training for returning to work on Monday.

Other than when I’m having dietary issues I get sick around my head, usually the sinuses and ENT so it’s only the second time this year I’ve been so horrifically ill. At Christmas we were visited by plague-ridden guests who made Madre and I ill for two weeks and I lost my sense of smell and taste for six days. True fact, I ate from a jar of JalapeƱos as if they were cucumber, nor could I smell the tub of Vicks.

Obviously with these types of sickness, you can’t do the normal things to pass the time like listening to music, watching tv, or playing video games… So I read, after a few days I could stand just to read from normal books. Some Dante, Homer, Mary Wollstonecraft and then my Latin grammar book. I find solace in my nerdy habits.

I’m behind on my dissertation, I’m gutted about the last mark I received but I finished it while battling an ear thing that was the lead up to the tonsillitis; but at least I passed. The dissertation is due in about a month and a half. But of course I signed up to another TEFL course for teaching young children and I have mere days to finish the assignments for that… Naturally, the stress has been piling on me and through lack of being able to do anything without suddenly being whomped by exhaustion or my head spinning, so the darkness/dementors has been moving in – hence distracting myself with Latin and that I’ve barely made a dent in my classics books.

Another recent habit when my ears aren’t acting up is listening to audiobooks and crocheting. I’ve ploughed through The Stand by Stephen King and the Scarlet Bernard books by Melissa F. Olsen and now I have several of the Great Courses lectures downloaded too. Right now listening to the Foundations of Western Civilization by Professor Thomas Noble, so amazing and in only thirty minute lectures I’ve been getting through them quite quickly.

I’m not back to my usual self yet, a lot of other stuff has happened that’s not helping how I’m feeling, but I know I can only take one day at a time, and right now I think it’s time for bed and some of the Iliad.

e x

Posted in Blogging Challenge

30 Day Blogging Challenge – Day 30

Your Hopes for your Blog

What are my hopes for this blog? Well, I’m aiming to get myself more in the habit of updating frequently, getting posts scheduled in advance and enjoying the experience of sharing events with other people. I want to grow it more to have it as a proper base and outlet for all my creative endeavours, so slowly I’ll be adding more photography, writing and other materials.

e x