Posted in Education, Fitness, Memories, Musings, University, Writing

Back to the drawing board

My course started on Saturday and I’ve managed to spend at least a couple of hours each day since to contribute to the forums and work on assignments. I’ve received really good feedback from a couple of other students on my first submission. I’m not good with criticism whether good or bad, and I struggle with accepting constructive criticism which I put down to too many essays being returned with ‘try harder’, ‘more detail’, ‘less flowery language – get to the point’, ‘don’t be so forceful’ – feedback in general can be contradictory as everyone will have different opinions.

This first year is broken down into four blocks and two specialisations, which for me are: Fiction and Script-writing. I’ll be working on Fiction in blocks 1 and 3, Script-writing in block 2, and block 4 is independent study. There are assessments at the end of each block and a final end of module assessment in June. I’m not too worried about the assessments yet, I had a read of the requirements and so long as I follow the course work and readings, I should manage to do quite well overall.

One of the stories I’ve been using for coursework is from what I want to be a novel series but it actually started aeons ago when I was around 6 or 7 as a make-believe scenario which touted many filled afternoons and a special birthday performance of a play of the story which I’d worked on for days. I was industrious to say the least. Now it’s a grown up story, but I’m still lacking a decent title. I know what I want the individual books to be titled but I don’t know what to name the series! I read an entire chapter on the purpose and point of decent titles, but nothing quite helped with this conundrum. I’ll get there in the end I suppose… consistency is the best cure for being stuck!

Managed to get back to the gym yesterday after several weekends of being too busy. Not lost too much in terms of endurance and I managed to get onto the lat pulldown machine… merely a couple of kgs off my personal bests! Going back tomorrow to smash them. Down several pounds in weight as well which is nice, but I’m trying to focus on listening to my body, if I really feel hungry or I’m just bored. I don’t want to go back to counting calories as I become far too obsessive with it, portion control and paying more attention to my eating habits and cravings will get me through for now.

I’m not a runner, it’s never been my thing, and I’ve actually caused myself more damage in the past when I’ve tried to run. Remember Phoebe trying to run in the park with Rachel? And Rachel was humiliated? Yep, mum just let me know today that that one time in school when I was picked to do the relay, I ran just like Phoebe did, maybe even worse! Thanks mum. I was never the sporty type. I had/have little to no upper body strength. I’d try to go on the monkey bars, grab on and swing forward – and keep swinging as my arms betrayed me and I kept swinging forward until gravity smacked me into the playground foam. I still can’t swim: I don’t float. Even when I was several stone lighter, it just never happened for me. My swimming proficiency at the end of Primary School, I got the shortest pity badge of 15 meters, but honestly that was me bobbing and trying to remember how to doggy-paddle like on Topsy and Tim. Then someone splashed water into my face and I choked and threw up by the side of the pool… thus my attempt was over.

So yeah, I was never going to be Sporty Spice, but that’s really why I prefer individual exercises that involve a steady machine or weights that I’m comfortable using without dislocating something. Don’t even get me started on gymnastics… the day I realised I had no balance or poise killed me. I’d never get to be the Pink Power Ranger. But when asked to do jumping splits over another person, I could take at least four others down with me!

Leave me to walk, row, and lift heavy stuff. I’m good.

e x

Posted in Education, Languages, Musings, TV, University

I am Bing, hear me roar!

To describe myself in two fictional TV characters I am Chandler Bing and Josh Lyman. I’m the awkward sometimes comic (relief) with occasional strokes of genius but mostly strives to be a third fictional character: Rory Gilmore. However, my procrastination and housekeeping skills make me more like Lorelai Gilmore instead. (Not complaining, but I do sniff books).

I was never the brightest or most engaged at school. I was the day-dreamer, the creative type never more sparked than when doing something crafty with paper, writing never-ending stories, or learning classics (partially started from my love of TV Hercules). I dreamt of attending Hogwarts when I should have been studying for my standard grades, I got up early and won a competition to meet Linkin Park when I should have revised more for my computing exam that morning.

Eventually, after many years of studying various vocations, I made it into University but still comfort-binge-watched The West Wing and Gilmore Girls on repeat too many times. Like Chandler, not many people know exactly what I’ve done or could tell you what I do/have been doing (apparently I do too many things); and like Josh I’m good at my own things, my own interests and specialist fields but at school I really had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to reach my own level. It’s too easy to lament on this with ‘should have tried harder’, ‘should have been better’, ‘why did others get x?’ but it’s not healthy to compare oneself with other people. We’ve all had different upbringings and pasts, and some people are just naturally academic. Me, I like that I have a million interests. I do need to focus on adequate scheduling more though.

Now uni is over, we’ve all been set loose and free. Except, Brexit is happening, I’ve gone off the language I studied, I’m years older than my former classmates, many pounds heavier (and poorer), Jed Bartlett isn’t running for president and I’m not seeing waves of job opportunities now that I’m home.

So what now? Well, it’s 2017 might as well blog and perhaps find others in the same position.

Call me Lyman Bing now. The point is I’m not being self-deprecating I’m being realistic. I don’t want to do finance training and feel like a sell-out (to myself, not dissing those who do/like finance) or feel my soul seeping from my ribs in a mind-numbing job. I’m living at home because I can’t afford to live alone and because my mum is nice enough to take me back (♥), I can’t afford to have children nor get married (not that I would, that’s for a whole other post), and I’ll probably never buy a house… but it doesn’t matter, times are changing and I’m riding the waves as they come.

e x