Posted in Health, life, rant, Writing

Figurative Ledges

So the summer is drawing to a close and there’s not been much to speak of weather-wise. I’ve been working, studying, and beating myself up about all the other things I don’t have time or energy to do – including blogging.

I’m currently still in the process of recovering from the worst bout of Tonsilitis I’ve ever had. It’s been bad before but it’s the first time the doctor has given me a massive dose of antibiotics – although I went on the Friday and she stated I’d be fine for work on the Monday. Riiight. So here I am, a week later and still not back at work yet. My throat no longer looks like an alien laid eggs around my raw tonsils but everything else is still funky. My right ear, (a.k.a the bad one) has taken to gurgling every time I hear sound, my glands pulse every time I move, and my eyes are making my brain swim when I stare at the computer screen, but I’m in training for returning to work on Monday.

Other than when I’m having dietary issues I get sick around my head, usually the sinuses and ENT so it’s only the second time this year I’ve been so horrifically ill. At Christmas we were visited by plague-ridden guests who made Madre and I ill for two weeks and I lost my sense of smell and taste for six days. True fact, I ate from a jar of Jalapeños as if they were cucumber, nor could I smell the tub of Vicks.

Obviously with these types of sickness, you can’t do the normal things to pass the time like listening to music, watching tv, or playing video games… So I read, after a few days I could stand just to read from normal books. Some Dante, Homer, Mary Wollstonecraft and then my Latin grammar book. I find solace in my nerdy habits.

I’m behind on my dissertation, I’m gutted about the last mark I received but I finished it while battling an ear thing that was the lead up to the tonsillitis; but at least I passed. The dissertation is due in about a month and a half. But of course I signed up to another TEFL course for teaching young children and I have mere days to finish the assignments for that… Naturally, the stress has been piling on me and through lack of being able to do anything without suddenly being whomped by exhaustion or my head spinning, so the darkness/dementors has been moving in – hence distracting myself with Latin and that I’ve barely made a dent in my classics books.

Another recent habit when my ears aren’t acting up is listening to audiobooks and crocheting. I’ve ploughed through The Stand by Stephen King and the Scarlet Bernard books by Melissa F. Olsen and now I have several of the Great Courses lectures downloaded too. Right now listening to the Foundations of Western Civilization by Professor Thomas Noble, so amazing and in only thirty minute lectures I’ve been getting through them quite quickly.

I’m not back to my usual self yet, a lot of other stuff has happened that’s not helping how I’m feeling, but I know I can only take one day at a time, and right now I think it’s time for bed and some of the Iliad.

e x

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Posted in Education, Musings, rant, work, Writing

Blogoversary!

So it’s around a year since evallone.com happened and I’m thrilled with how my little site has developed in that time. Initially pre-domain name it did start as a blog of a recent graduate trying to find decent work in this pre-apocalyptic world, then evolved, backtracked and evolved some more!

Tomorrow marks a year since I got that fresh out of uni job which lasted all of 10 weeks. I am not ashamed to admit it as I’m much happier in my current job of seven and a half months! I never spoke in great detail on here about what happened in the last job, but since I’ve hardly heard from anyone since I left, there’s little problem if I were to speak about it, but that’s for another time.

The current purpose of my blog is to give me a platform to display all my creative tendencies and to rant. I’ve much in the pipeline, but have been fighting with time to get on with actually writing blog posts. I did go on holiday to York a few weeks ago but I’ve had a hell of a time trying to edit and upload the pictures (I shot them all in RAW and it’s been a while…) Alas, they’re coming soon along with the written-at-the-time blog posts. Check out my photography page as I’ll be posting plenty of additional pictures there.

I spent much of yesterday desperately clinging onto reality after a rare night out on Saturday. I’ve questioned my mortality, my age, the unstoppable passing of time, why I peaked at age 3, and my appearance. So today I got up, my food tasted better than in months, I slept better than I have in quite some time (with lots of wild dreams) and have a plan for today and the next wee while. My course starts back in October so that gives me several weeks to work my way through the reading list (as best as I can, cannot afford many of the books) and trying to really embrace the opportunity this course and year will give me. I know all too well from this past year just how fast time goes, so I need to try and enjoy every single minute of it.

I’m rambling now, I know, but I’m abuzz with ideas and the need to just read for a solid amount of time. I just needed this to break the ice a bit, and I promise I should be back to regular updates from now on.

Thanks for this last year of support!

e x

Posted in University, work, Writing

Tumbleweed

I know things have been quite here for a few weeks, but everything all hit at once; the final assessment for uni, getting ill, birthdays, and working.

Everything has been going well though, I spent little pockets of free time in May to work on my assessment so I didn’t have to rush much at the last minute ( just the commentary, which is horrendous) and I managed to get some last minute feedback on my chapters which was stellar and just a few typos. I’m feeling good about it! Just have to wait until the 17th of July to get my overall results for this first year, so I’m waiting until then to apply for second year. Also still waiting on SAAS because this year they decided to confuse themselves and not properly read my application before halting it… and an eleven minute conversation (six minutes on hold) only got me as far as sending a query to SAAS which they promised to get back to me about within 28 days -_-

I caught another stomach bug (4th in a year!) and was laid up for a few days while still trying to pull off mum’s birthday – I managed it and I’ve survived but honestly the whole weekend is something of a blur. But mum loved all the presents I gave her and how I decorated the living room with balloons and banners and made such a fuss over her. Great treat for a 60th… even if no one else believes her age!

In other news, now that uni has finished until October I’m using the summer to catch up for second year. We’ve been given the reading list that will be used so I have time to work my way through it (some books I’ve already read) and the tutor also gave us an assessment break-down for the year. There will be six assessments and the End of Module assessment of 15,000 words. I used and developed a novel throughout this year which will be book 1 of my novel series. However, as I jumped around a lot with chapters and sections for the assessments, my plan is to use the summer to finish book 1 and to start book 2 for my assessments for year 2. PLAN! So far, I’ve not had a lot of time to work on book 1 so my collated word count at the moment is just shy of 10k words, need to times that by 8 to get my expected word count. Then, I’ll be self-publishing though KDP and onward and upward!

Better get back to writing now, tight schedule!

e x

Posted in Late Nights, Musings

The Frustrations Part Deux

I spoke yesterday about the ‘invisible’ influences and pressures for people to get into relationships, have kids… essentially grow up I thought more about the times for me where the messages haven’t been so invisible.

Recently: I was at a funeral a few months ago for someone who meant a lot to me. I accepted that by going to the service I’d have to see people whose company I don’t particularly enjoy. In the car park after it, while most of us were swamped with emotion, I was informed that now university is over, I need to find myself a nice husband. Shock doesn’t quite describe how I felt, but despite my protestations that this was not something I wanted, the person repeatedly insisted the same thing again and again.

Is that something that one puts on a to-do list?

Then the other questions appear, ‘Is she dating?’, ‘Does she have a boyfriend?’ ‘Is she um… y’know…?’, ‘Doesn’t she want children?’, ‘Don’t you want to fall in love?’

Ugh, spare me! Aside from the gooey-smoochy gag that I can’t deal with, you want to know the truth? I literally cannot afford any of these things, not right now and unless I hit a miraculous windfall in the next while, it won’t be anytime soon. And I’m not compromising to ‘settle’ for someone just so my bills will be halved and we’ll be financially stuck together. Nope, not fair on anyone.

We’re supposed to be living in a time of awareness that it’s not that people don’t fit the boxes but that the boxes aren’t meant to fit people in them! Strides are being made for marriage equality, gender equality, recognition of more than archaic traditionalist ideals… so why isn’t choosing to be unmarried and child-free? Why is it still seen as something a person can be coaxed into doing, reality and finances be damned?

e x